Monday, July 28, 2008

So my friend Phoebe said this tonight:

One thing I know I need to do is stop doing exactly what I am doing in this post - I need to STOP focusing on me, how horrible I am, etc. and just look at Christ instead. I need to just be busy praising Him, praying to Him, studying Him, etc. and not for what that will do to my life but because He is worthy of that. I need to get my eyes off of me.

Yes I agree. I have been so busy focusing on life's problems and stress and the chaos of my life that I sit and forget Christ - to focus on Christ - to die to myself and praise him and study him and be more of him to the world.

I need to get my eyes of:
  • Money issues - I can't change them without winning the lottery so I need to tolerate it better and do with out silly things better. I do miss Target and just buying something because I like it but it's not the end of the world.
  • Therapy - the countless stressful hours of therapy and constantly questioning what I am doing and if its right, how hard it is on both girls. Am I missing anything...please don't let me miss anything.
  • Nannie - Amy still does a lot but it's so much harder having Nannie here at home with me without Amy here. Actually if I am brutally honest it sucks and most days I resent it.
  • My family and the issues there - I feeling guilty and responsible for them as if their happiness is my direct responsibility and we know its now.
  • Sometimes I just want to move and start over.
Anyway I know this blog sounds hopeless but in my heart it is somewhat hopeful. I have a lot to be thankful for and I need to concentrate on that.

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