Monday, July 28, 2008

I've just had a really weird realization. I've never really grieved or healed the loss of Brynna and Angel. I realized that weirdly at 2:00 am after watching Batman with my heart still grieving for Heath Ledger. Then I came home and felt ridiculously angry for feeling invaded as everyone was here, in my house when I just wanted some solitude. Seems crazy right? Then I went to a my IVF group board. I've been posting with these ladies since the fall of 2004 on a private board that we moved from IVF Connections too. I went from there to a small bible study board that several of us on the IVF board created. There Phoebe linked me to a blog called Audry Caroline's Story.

Enough said... go back and read the beginning of the story and you'll understand. I have a lot to process. Too much. But if you want to know the beginnings of my story - check out my old diary at A Mother's Love Knows No Bounds. If you want to know the whole story just keep clicking next.

I am assuming with the flood of emotions I am feeling right now that I will be writing a lot about this. I don't want to feel it at all but life is too short to keep it all locked up. It's been 5 years. Brynna and Angel want me to move forward.

So I am going to try...

Amazing what a night of Batman, sadness for Heath Ledger and an unexpected link to an unexpected blog can do.

This kinda sucks...but obviously this is NOT a coincidence.

1 comment:

Julia Stewart said...

I have been reading AC blog too.
Anne linked me to it along with a lot of other similar blogs

I started crying in batman the other night. In that scene when Heath's arm is exposed... where he is in the hospital..... I just kept looking at his arm and for some reason I just got really sad again - sad for his family and his daughter and his friends....