Thursday, May 14, 2009

Learning to Be

Life is changing for me at such an exponential speed. I wake up each day and something is amazingly different. Perhaps I just never noticed before but things are moving SO fast. My weight loss is fitness level is moving fast...I am driving 250-300 miles a week in my van to various commitments or therapies for the girls...once again too fast.

But in the one area left that I want to see massive changes...I feel like I am in slow motion. I desperately want it to move as fast as I feel the rest of my life is moving. I want to be whole and feel like I am "fixed". I am such a fixer...why can't I fix myself? Sigh.

It can be quite overwhelming. It's becoming a challenge to really learn how to just "be". A wise person recently told me that it's not a question of when when I feel as if this last major issue is "dealt with" (my paraphrase) but when.

But I am the black and white girl who lives in a shades of gray world who wants to know WHEN.


I need to just's amazing how hard that can be.

But I am trying.

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