Thank you GOD!!!

Amazingly my town seems to have a lot of people who do not understand what a red light is. They just run lights right and left. I see it EVERYDAY. I've learned to slow down and look both ways before going even if I have the green.

Well yesterday I pulled out of church and stopped at a red light. It turned green. The car facing me had it's blinker on as did I and we both hesitated. I kept thinking why is he waiting to go. For some reason I thought - "I have to be careful". About 3 seconds later Brian says what are you waiting on and I said I don't know and started to pull forward and Brian suddenly yelled STOP right as this GIGANTIC Expedition sped through a red light going at least 50. Seriously fast for this street which has a 35 mph limit. I would have gone if Brian hadn't yelled. My light had been green at least 10 seconds so it wasn't like she was running a fading yellow. The woman would have annihilated my little sebring potentially killing me and Salem (she was on my side).

I am SO mad. People need to watch what the hell they are doing. Thank you God for protecting us.

Living Wide Awake

Here are a few profound thoughts from what I have read in Erwin McManus - Wide Awake. Think about it. Get the book. It's SO worth it. You can read excerpts at the above link.

The future is waiting within you.

What would happen if all of us discovered our God-given dreams? To live our lives in such a way that everything we did – every choice, every act – was used to fulfill those dreams. If all of us began to live "wide awake," the world would never be the same

Very few are meant for a life of notoriety, yet all of us were meant for a life of significance. We should never confuse fame with greatness. The former is about what you do for yourself and the latter is about what you do for others. It is in this way that all of us have heroic lives to live. We are all called to serve the greater good.

When we live wide awake, the world begins to reflect the kind of place in which God intended us to live. After all he places us in paradise and expected us to take care of his creation - so much for a good start. Now we need to step up and reclaim what was lost. Jesus came to bring out the best in us. When this happens we should expect that everything else will change for the better.

There is a future that needs to be created and it is waiting for you and me to wake up and get out of bed. The alarm has sounded and it's time to shake off the slumber.

You know that little bit of sadness that greets you in the morning? Maybe it's there because you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing. You're not living the life you're supposed to be living. You're not dreaming wide awake. It's your soul searching for it's hero.

I may not know you personally but this I know about you without question - there is a hero within you waiting to be awakened.

It's time to live, to create, to imagine, to dream...Wide Awake

So I want to share something exciting and scary!

So Brian and I are going to do some things to totally change our lives. :) We're very excited and I hope you are as well! Please keep us in prayer and to be honest it's natural that some might have feels of apprehension for us. If you do just praying. This is just the story of what we're doing and we're constantly seeking God and His will but truly feel that God is behind this all.

It's going to be a risk but Brian has been miserable with our business. It's too stressful on us as a couple and way to hard on his back. He's wavered about getting an MBA, going back to school to become a chiropractor etc. But while Brian was in Brazil, God kinda gave him an epiphany. He's tired of being unhappy. And we've been reading some Erwin McManus stuff - Wide Awake - about following your dreams to do something great - not to live in mediocrity etc.

So Brian has decided he wants to go to flight school to get certified and eventually next summer be able to fly commercially. The he wants to get a plane and start a travel service for Missionaries - something like Mission Travel is what we're thinking. We'd start with just the 20 churches and 150+ people who fly to Sao Luiz to work with Marcelo each year. This would be a huge blessing to missionaries who fly 24+ hours for a 2 week trip there and back. It would literally add 2 days to their trip. For instance, Brian's dad goes and the plane trips are getting harder and harder but he wants to keep going. So in theory the next year we'd probably be broke but it should enable us to have financial freedom within a short amount of time - like 3 years.

And me...I was scared to talk to Brian about it but he's open to it. I am going to try and get money together to have Weight Loss Surgery in January. I am going to go with a procedure called a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy. I would be self pay and it's really expensive in the states. So with help from Obesityhelp.com I am looking at two reputable Dr.'s in Mexico. I have come to the sad reality that I just I can't do this on my own. I fluctuate these days between 225-235 and my cholesterol so high I feel like it's IMPERATIVE that I get this weight off. My diabetes is under control but that combined with high cholesterol and being overweight give me something called "Metabolic Syndrome" and puts me at a 20% risk of having a heart attack in 10 years. I am 40 - my girls are 6 and 3 so I have to get healthy. I have to.

So anyway - these are major areas for us. Basically it would change our ENTIRE life. And we have to come up with a lot of money in a short amount of time so we're going to tighten the belt and stop spending on anything extra completely.

Brian will be taking lessons starting in mid December. Forty hours will get him started and he can work towards getting checked out in the twin engines and bigger planes in January and February (maybe March) while it's slow. Then he'd do a lot of cross country flights while we did God's Care. We'd keep our lawn care business but when the flight service is off the ground, we'd hire another full time worker and not take many new customers and hire a payroll service to handle everything else. Of course that would eat into the profit but we wouldn't need to live on it then and we could use that for savings and such.

To be honest Brian and I've really been at odds lately and we finally realized while we were apart (me in Dallas 3 days and then him in Brazil 9) that we're both just unhappy - him doing what he hates and me with my body and self image.

And one of the futuristic perks is that with a plane we could help people who otherwise couldn't do missionary work to get down there more affordably. It would be a business but it would be God's business so we would always help people the same as we do with our lawn care business. For us - we could spend our summers there which we've talked several times before about spending 2-3 months a year there - we just assumed it would have to be winter due to the lawn care business. We could buy a decent house for less than $20,000 and a car and have a second home and let Brian minister while the girls and I worked in the church in the big city (we aren't going to the actual jungle - maybe just to the town of Primera Cruz - a town of 10K that they go to before they trek into the jungle).

So I wanted to share. As you can see this is a ton of info. It's funny cause we both texted each other on last Wednesday when he made it back to the states saying we needed to talk! Me about the weight loss surgery and him about flying. I know it seems weird and fast and all but we're like that. Once we make a decision we try to act on it soon cause we both are impatient and it wears on us.

Five Humans

Whoo Hoo!!! Look what I just read on the FiveHumans Blog:

I wanted to tell everyone about a very special community of people that truly embody what being an advocate is all about. The mothers, fathers and courageous children and adults living with Noonan syndrome are a strong group with a voice that can’t be ignored. They won the Next Cause vote by an overwhelming margin. Therefore, this month, FiveHumans will be creating a shirt for Noonan Syndrome awareness inspired by the stories, emotions and experiences shared with us by the NS community (the actual shirts will be available for pre-order when the design is complete and will ship a few weeks later). We have also partnered with the Noonan Syndrome Support Group to be the recipient of donations for the Noonan syndrome shirt. Stay tuned for more information as we will soon be announcing when the shirt will be available for pre-order.

How exciting is that? I am BEYOND excited. And if you've never heard of FiveHumans you need to know who they are! FiveHumans is a company with the self appointed task of curing ignorance around various causes through hip, fashionable clothing. Their clothing helps people become advocates because they spark conversation and spread awareness and Noonan Syndrome is a cause not well known. They always say - "Ignorance is a Curable Disease!" AMEN!

Remembering Angel & Brynna

October is Infant/Child Loss Awareness Month - so in honor of Angel and Brynna I thought I'd share their story. I know they are safe in heaven but I still miss them each and every day and it's been 6 years.

Brian and I tried for 4+ years to get pregnant. We finally did IVF and transferred 2 embryos. We were pregnant with twins. And a week later one of twins has split into identicals - we had triplets. It was overwhelming and exciting and about 11 weeks we lost one of the identicals. It was so sad but we had so much excitement regarding the other two that we put it out of our mind. At 22 weeks I went to an U/S and was excited to find out the sex of the babies. I had recently returned a rented doppler and finally felt so good about this pregnancy. But at this U/S we found out that one of the remaining twins had died. I was told that I was at risk if I didn't terminate the healthy pregnancy because of the deceased baby but I just couldn't. We had three and were left with 1 so I felt like she was destined to make it, So I was on bedrest for about 14 weeks. I had weekly appointments, U/S and non-stress tests. I developed polydramnios and basically my body seemed to think I was still pregnant with multiples. I then developed high blood pressure and was hospitalized at 34 weeks. I stayed in the hospital a week, went home a week and then came back and delivered Salem Ruth-Rhena. Her sisters are Brynna and Angel. Salem had a rough start and ended up being diagnosed with Noonan Syndrome and Hypertropic Cardiomyopathy. But she couldn't to grow and be healthy and is now a bright and healthy 6 year old without signs of the heart problem.

If you'd like to read more of their story click on this. I also posted a lot of my entire IVF journey and pregnancy and the problems Salem had after birth here.

Their room now!

And this is the big girl's room for now. We redecorated in September 06. Salem is now 6 and Raina 3 and they share until they are old enough to be upstairs (one big attic converted into a HUGE room) without us. I am VERY excited about that room. There is room to decorate two separate bedroom areas and a play area and the bathroom.

The ugly but comfy orange chair is gone now replaced with a desk and daddy's homemade house bookshelf is still there but the TV out. That lasted like 2 months. And the wall decor is finished but I am too lazy to take new pics!

I also left the doors off. They were almost broken when we took them down and I always planned to hand curtains and keep procrastinating.

Raina's Bedding

Salem always slept in her crib for naps even though we coslept at nights. So I figured Raina would too! :) NOT. This gorgeous bedding was a DREAM and I LOVED it and she wouldn't sleep anywhere but my bed or in my sling for months and since I was nursing and needing the sleep we went with it.

This is one of the few times she slept there. Isn't it gorgeous?