It's been a busy few weeks

We had a really nice Christmas. The snow and ice kept us from going to Snyder and while we missed seeing Brian's dad it was nice to be at home. The girls played in the snow and we just relaxed.

I am now in Mexico recovering from an abdominoplasty. After losing 90 pounds my skin was a mess. I have battled skin infections all year and basically spent hundreds of dollars trying to find something that would keep the infections at bay. It made running and exercise hard. The sound of your skin flapping against you is intensely embarrassing in a gym environment.

I have become a fairly transparent person in 2009 but I really struggled with talking about this as I do look good in clothes - after I found 6 pounds of skin into spanx everyday. But it got to the point where the skin infections were intense. So Brian and I prayed about it and found an excellent plastic surgeon and I began the process of reconstructing my skin.

I actually have had a few looks from people so I can tell people must think it's for vanity's sake. And exercise won't return the elastically to my skin. I am almost 42. I've fluctuated from 190-262 for 7 years and had 2 pregnancies and 2 csections. The elasticity was gone. And I worked out hard in 2009. I consulted with 2 plastic surgeons and talked to trainers - that kind of skin doesn't retract.

Anyway - I've thought about posting a picture and I am not sure I want to do that. But if anyone wants to see the before and after pic they can email. My surgery was last Wednesday and they took off 6 pounds of skin and 2 liters of fat. The average tummy tuck removes about 2 pounds of skin. So I had a lot. I am recovering well and will be home on Thursday. If you pray please pray that I will heal well and that the girls are doing well. They are with their beloved daddy but its hard to be away from home.

1 Corinthians 13 - Paraphrased For Christmas

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn't envy another person's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Crappy Update from the Dr. Re: My Back

So I've been going to the chiro since my wreck. It's really helped my neck a lot but there is still a lot of tightness. Originally the xray showed it was straight rather than curved. But because it's still SO tight we started decompression therapy last week. Two days after that I misstepped off a curb and while I didn't fall I felt it in my back immediately. We were going in Salem's Christmas program and I had to stand during most of it. I went to the chiro the next day and it was swollen. He wanted me to see the Dr.

So after 2 hours there today we find that I have a compression between C6-C7 in my neck and arthritis in my neck. The good news is the curve is coming back (it was VERY straight after the wreck). I also have degeneration in the lowest lumbar vertebrae. This was not caused by the wreck or me stepping off the curb but it was exacerbated by it. More than likely it was from being overweight my whole adult life. My tummy tuck will help cause even though I am MUCH lighter that skins just hangs and adds pressure to my back. We are guessing that I have 4-9 pounds of excess skin and while that doesn't sound like a lot it adds a lot of tension to my hips by pulling downward.

So right now there is NOTHING he can do til after I heal from my tummy tuck. But I am not sure I want to do steroid treatments - I don't want to gain any weight. So I am going to talk to my PCP for a second opinion and do some research. He did give me a RX for tramadol and a muscle relaxer and a tens unit (I was borrowing a friend's dads). But I can't take the pain killers and muscle relaxers during the day and drive and such.

After I recover from my tummy tuck I will go back in and we'll see what to do. I do have an inversion table so I'll try that.

I am so disappointed and discouraged. I can't work out the way I was working out and while I know it may get better long term TODAY THIS SUCKS. I am working to letting God's joy and strength fill me but I am just tired I guess cause I feel really crappy about this.

Finally found a discipline that works for Salem

We've had a really rough month or two with Salem. It cultimated last weekend when I took EVERY single toy away including her American Girl Doll. Then I decided she wouldn't get the chance to earn anything back until she wrote:

Salem - Obey your parents as unto the Lord for it is right - Ephesians 6:1. This is hard for a 7 year old and she had to write it 100 times. It took her 7 days.

Yesterday I just had to ask her - Salem do you need to write? She said no.

Today her behavior digressed and she's sitting beside me writing it ten times. She is devastated and hates writing and so far this is the only punishment or threat of potential punishment that has worked.

I do feel bad for her tears - she HATES writing.

Santa!!!

We went to our friend's Breakfast With Santa Event at their church. Raina was pretty skeptical about Santa. She did ask for a mermaid necklace so I am looking for one at the dollar store for her stocking. Salem asked for a camera. I knew that was on her list. :) YAY mom.

Raina ended up with stitches today!

First of all funny start to this story. I almost always answer my phone and text messages immediately. Brian not so much. But today I was vacuuming and didn't hear my phone ring. It was the nurse from Raina's school. She had fallen and cut her chin open and may need stitches. I am not a panicking type of mom so I said ok I'd be there in a moment. Brian thankfully answered his phone and got ahold of me.

Anyway blessing #2 was the Dr. Martin was still in the office after 1 pm on a Friday so we avoided a ridiculously long ER trip. So we went in and he started off by saying most chin cuts didn't need stitches. Then he quickly said but Raina does. Sigh. He said if it's a cut that looks like a line to clean it and put a band aid on it but hers was like a starburst and he could see the tissue.

The worst part was the lidocaine needle. The actual 4 stitches she was a trooper about. Poor baby. But she was really brave and doing well. I was surprised at how squeamish I was when he was sewing it up. I was singing her favorite songs and shushing her softly but my stomach was turning.

This is a not so great picture but she didn't want to be still and I didn't want to force it.

What a difference a year makes - Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday